- Study Materials Library
- Further Resources
Sexuality - Ordering Behaviors / Thoughts
Q: I have a vague recollection of asking you about this once before, but I can't remember any of it. The Course doesn't say anything about sex, as if it didn't exist. But it very much exists for me. I'm gay (though not presently in a relationship) and I've been interested in "Sacred Sexuality" for some time.
Having no sexual partner, I arouse myself to orgasm on my own a few times a week and thanks to the books I've read I consider it to be a sacred act.
As I move deeper into the heart of ACIM I'm noticing that more and more often I simply have lost interest in sex. It doesn't bother me -- usually my thought is, "Oh, good, I'll have more time for other things now."
My questions are:
1. should sex just be ignored as apparently ACIM does?
2. Should students like me enjoy it until its attractiveness evaporates away?
3. Is there anything really "sacred" in the sex act, and should I use it, as one Sacred Sex book puts it, as a springboard to transcendence?
4. And finally, if I decide to ignore my sex drives and live a life of abstinence and celibacy, will the repression of those sex drives cause any problems? I'm inclined towards celibacy but that's because my Catholic upbringing made sex a mortal sin punishable by eternity in Hell. That clearly is not the right motivation to take a vow of celibacy.
Thanks for your help with this.
A: Beloved One
Thanks for your direct questions about sexuality. What you do comes from what you think, and that is why Awakening is a purification of thought. Behavior modification is therefore never the goal, for behavior but follows the guide the mind chooses to listen to and follow. Sexual desire is not better or worse than any desire for the world, yet Awakening is a state of contentment that is desireless. This is the peace that passeth the understanding of the world.
All appetites are ego getting mechanisms, and fantasy is the attempt to make false associations and obtain pleasure from them.
As the miracle expands and becomes consistently experienced these appetites fade, grow dim, and disappear. The ego was the belief in lack, and all apparent appetites reflected this belief. The ego attempted to put various behaviors into moral and ethical systems of judgment, yet in the healed Perspective only wholeness is experienced and the past is gone.
There is no hierarchy of illusions, no order of difficulty in miracles,
and no preferences in the Atonement. The ego was one error and cannot
be broken into "enjoyable" error and "punishable"
error, "moral" error and "immoral" error, "ethical"
error and "unethical" error. Celibacy and monogamy and masturbation
are all stepping-stone concepts along the path of emptying the mind
of all concepts, forgiving the illusion, and Awakening to Pure Oneness.
Pleasure and pain are the same error. The miracle transcends the error by showing its falsity, its impossibility.
It is impossible to seek for pleasure without finding pain, for both are the same error: the attempt to reinforce the "reality" of the body and world. Christ is Spirit, not a body, and to experience Divine Mind is to forget the body entirely. At no single instant does the body exist at all. It is always remembered (past) or anticipated (future) in dreaming. This is the error of linear time. As one experiences the Holy Instant the experience of bodies and time are no more.
Awakening involves mind training.
Preferences are judgments, and as the mind yields to the Nonjudgmental
Perspective of the Holy Spirit the Awakening is obvious. You will observe
that as long as appetites seem to exist, these are the ego defenses
of indulgence and repression. Neither is better or worse than the other,
for they are the same illusion. The miracle offers a real alternative
and when one is consistently miracle-minded defenses are
Let the Holy Spirit Guide you in the moment to the experience of the Holy Instant.
In the Holy Instant God is Known, Christ is Known, and "sexuality" is unknown and unknowable. The perceptual world disappears in the Thought of God. The Thought of God is Sacred. Christ is Spirit. God is Spirit. That Which is born of the Spirit is Spirit. Such is the simple Truth.
Love & Blessings.
Home | About this Website
| Study Materials | Contact | Donate | Resources - Order