Perceive the Body or Behold the Spirit
Q: I wrote to you a few months ago with feedback about what was happening
for me in a relationship. I have been working with the Course in Relationships
for some time now. Anyway I have been going through a lot of grief because
this relationship came to an end. He cut off contact with me when I
went interstate for a two week holiday. He said he didn't want to have
phone contact because he was thinking about where he wanted to go with
our relationship. I was heartbroken. When I got back he had sent me
an email ending the relationship. I still cry about 'the loss' and yet
I did not really 'lose' anything. He was not a good choice for me, he
was operating from unconscious awareness and did not believe in God.
I thought that his heart which was a kind heart would be enough, but
when we had some conflict he was not able to deal with it at all and
was unable to work through it.
Anyway I was thinking a few times that I would really like to meet a
spiritual man who could do rock 'n roll dancing which I love and which
my past partner and I did together. I really missed the dancing. Lo
and behold I have met a lovely spiritual man who is a rock 'n roll dancer.
He has a beautiful heart and soul but when I met him I found his appearance
and the way he talked unattractive. Not the content of his communication,
but the sound of his voice. Yet this was this beautiful heart and soul
and so I am really enjoying his company but finding it hard to accept
his weasely physical appearance. So when I spoke to him that night I
said I didn't want a romantic relationship with him, I just wanted us
to be friends. I need to see that a weasel can be a beautiful man on
the inside and I need to stop my thoughts because they are being shown
to me. It is so hard!!!!!
I guess this is all ego based stuff. Deep down in my heart and soul
I 'know' that I have worked hard on the course in relationship study
and I have attracted a heart and soul opening partner. This new man
sees me as a beautiful heart and soul and won't let me go so easily.
Last night I got upset and suggested we just end our contact. He just
stayed calm and peaceful and we talked it through. He is very understanding
and patient and recognizes that I am fearful because of my past hurts.
I am not used to receiving such blessings from a man. I know I have
created this man in my life and I don't want to sabotage it. My ego
is trying hard to sabotage this. Do you have any suggestions that might
God bless you with his never ending peace today and always.
A: Beloved One
It sounds like you are doing really well with recognizing in each circumstance
that it is always your own thoughts and judgments being mirrored back
to you (i.e. by your daughters).It is helpful to keep in mind that people
aren't really people – they are thoughts. As you heal your mind
and you release thoughts that no longer serve you, people in your life
may seem to change or disappear. The world is a world of ideas, a reflection
or out-picturing of beliefs.
Each experience you have of sadness, loss or grief is the result of
thoughts projected out on to people. By tracing your thoughts inward
you are able to get down to your beliefs and even deeper beneath your
beliefs to your desires. By sitting and meditating in a state of enquiry,
you can ask yourself "what do I really believe is true" regarding
a certain situation.
When your desire is split / when you desire anything other than God,
then you are on the ego's playing field and your thoughts, emotions
and perceptual world will reflect back to you your split desire (your
for something other than God – which cannot possibly bring you
Love). The emotions will be unlike love and the perceptual world will
In every moment you choose to perceive your brother as a body or you
behold the spirit. This relationship seems to be the perfect opportunity
for you to practice beholding the spirit and allowing the Holy Spirit
to Guide you in an experience of holy relationship in which all judgment
and fear of love can come up for release.
Regarding sexuality / romance, simply follow your prompts in every moment,
allowing yourself the time to tune in and check that each step you take
feels right. Rather than drawing conclusions or setting rules and boundaries,
or trying to define the relationship in worldly terms, allow the Holy
Spirit to Guide you gently, moment by moment, in an intuitive way that
feels right for you. Each moment is fresh and new, an opportunity to
release expectations of yourself and your brother. The past has gone,
and this includes the very recent past – and you are free to be
Who you are in every given moment.
Communicate openly with your friend about the purpose of your relationship,
about your commitment to God and to healing. When opening to Real Love
and releasing fear is the purpose and you hold it out front together,
you pave the way for trust to develop. When you are clear about purpose
you can quickly dismiss the ego when you sense a feeling of pressure
or a fear of "taking things personally". Treat your relationship
like a new flower opening it's petals in the warm sunshine. It is in
need of gentle nurturing and tender care and all that is required is
Given of God – you do not have to try to figure out how to make
the sun shine and the rain fall.
Remember always to put God first, and then enjoy!
Q: Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my 'call for help'.
I still struggle with understanding the concept of there being 'no people
out there' only my thoughts. However I reflected on the words when you
said people may seem to change or disappearYes, (my new friend) is a
miracle in my life and that is because I am changing my mind about what
I deserve - for too long I have carried a deep seated belief that I
am not worthy of the best and that relationships always mean rejection
and pain. God only wants me to have the very best and to express love
and let go of fear (ego). Thank you so much and I will remember (because
I am a quick forgetter) to ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in every
moment as to what needs to happen. I will remember to hold the relationship
up as a way to opening to real love and releasing fear.
God bless your beautiful heart and soul today and always.