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Awakening to Relationship
Q: I have been amazed at your always succinct interpretations of ACIM. I print out some of your discussion for use in a Circle Meeting which I lead at a Unity church.
My problem is this: My wife and I believe so differently on the surface of things, that there is conflict or friction every time that we are together. I moved out some 10 months ago, so that at least the time spent together in this friction would be lessened.
But we have a son together, and so are often in each other's company. I keep telling myself to step back from the emotions that arise, and that any form of "attack" is false, but the same stuff keeps coming up. I know that I must change my thinking - "forgive" - and know that in the silence of no-thinking only love will shine and be reflected to me, but it seems the closer I get to it, the harder it is. I do not know how to explain to my son why his Mom and Dad don't get along, and to explain to him about the falseness of the world and illusions of attack, when I can't model the same for him. Any advice?
Awakening to Relationship.
A: Beloved One
Thanks for writing and sharing your experiences and ponderings. Changing your mind and demonstrating this wondrous change in attitude, with honesty and integrity, will yield great peace. This demonstration goes far beyond the words that are spoken and the concepts that are described. There are two passages from ACIM that come immediately to mind:
"I am alone in nothing. Everything I think or say or do teaches all the universe." (W-54.4)
"No thought of God's Son can be separate or isolated in its effects. Every decision is made for the whole Sonship, directed in and out, and influencing a constellation larger than anything you ever dreamed of." (T-14.III.9)
Everyone who seems to walk this world is concerned about the effect that their decisions will have on other people (including partners, children, parents, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, etc.) The context of decisions is always seen in terms of a small circle of people that seem most important in a person's life. Yet each and every thought that passes through the mind and every decision made is actually made for the entire universe, for the whole Sonship. A decision is a conclusion based on everything you believe, and until unconscious beliefs are raised to the Light and released then most decisions in daily life are dictated by the ego. The ego is like a computer program which runs your perception of everything until it is exposed and deleted.
Be grateful that your interactions with your wife have been a means of exposing the friction of holding onto ego beliefs. Offer her full appreciation in your heart for the beliefs which have been flushed into awareness that they may be offered up to the Holy Spirit. Relationships and Silence will expose ego beliefs and thoughts in an accelerated manner, and this is so because deep down you are Calling for healing. As you progress in the mind training discipline, as trust in the Holy Spirit grows, and as judgment is relinquished you will experience waves of gratitude for the blessing everyone offered by mirroring and thus exposing hidden beliefs. You will also draw forth many witnesses to your peace of mind, and your mind will be flooded with these glorious witnesses to the Truth of You. Relationships will seem more and more vibrational as you move inward, and this means they will obviously reflect the Purpose you hold dear in your heart. These mighty companions will reflect the love and intimacy that has remained forever in your Heart, for Which God created Divine Love.
Your happiness and joy will be the best demonstration to your wife and son. Everyone you meet is a holy encounter. Every child you encounter or think of is yours. Those who see God's Will is their Own see beyond ego distinctions and roles to the Living Christ. Who is father, mother, sister, brother, son, daughter - when everyone you meet or even think of shares the same Self in Spirit? Every decision you make teaches the whole universe what you believe you are. Every thought proclaims the identity of the Sonship. Let the thoughts be of gratitude for a Creator that creates Perfect Oneness and Divine Innocence. Embrace everyone and everything as a reflection of our holy mind, for our holiness lights up the perception of the cosmos. Everyone brings a blessing as soon as the desire is to offer only blessings. Giving and receiving are the same. Be a happy witness, and if your son sees this joy and comes to you with questions the Answers will flow effortlessly through you from the Holy Spirit.
Friction is always an indication of a control issue. Friction seems to be between persons, but the Authority Problem Christ speaks of in ACIM is never interpersonal. Whenever there seems to be friction in an interpersonal relationship the real question is this: Am I as God Authored Me in Spirit or do I still believe that I can make myself?
Christ is invulnerable because Christ is Spirit. The self-concept seems threatened by many things of this world because concepts were made up by the ego and the ego is a shaky substitute for the Truth of Spirit. As all ego self-concepts are laid by the altar is made clean for the Truth to return to awareness. Our "Identity" is far beyond the concepts of the time-space cosmos. I am as God created Me is a humble statement of the Truth.
Be blessed in all ways Beloved Child of the Living God. You are magnificent just as You are!
In Love & Joy.
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