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Why Specialness Was Made 

Editor's note: This transcript has been lightly edited to bring clarification to certain points of the dialogue and for easier readability. For this reason, it does not match the corresponding audio mp3 word-for-word. However, the overall content and the expressed ideas remain unchanged.

Speaker: The waking up process in the ultimate sense takes place in the mind, from looking at the false beliefs in the mind without fear. Calmly looking on them and seeing them as false. In seminars, elderly people will come up to me and they’ll say if only I had this book when I was young. But that’s still these age/time concepts that are very much tied up in the ego system.

Participant1: And the age of the body or the passing of the body has no effect on the mind, and it’s the mind that’s to be healed, in the sense that the illusion of the body has nothing to do with that. Then if the body stops breathing, it still has nothing to do with that.

Participant2: Then if we have to work on stuff and become aware, we have to use these experiences in the body in order to gain awareness so that we can make our transition.

Speaker: Jesus says that only salvation can be said to cure and one either wakes or sleeps, and at one point he says many upon death arise and awaken. He is using death in the sense of the body. It could be any instant. Just one instant is all it takes to wake up. But really what I hear you saying is what’s the use of this world? And the Course is definitely saying though the world was made as a projection, as a distractive device, to keep your mind busy and preoccupied with things in the world, with pain and pleasure and pursuits so that the mind would not look at the belief that the Holy Spirit has a different purpose for the world. It’s meant to cover over the false beliefs, so the attention remains focused out here. So even though it was made for that purpose, that was the ego’s purpose. Now the Holy Spirit says here, I’ve got a different purpose, healing. We’re going to use these bodies, we’re going to use these cars, houses, trees, clothes, everything, in the waking up process, and that’s the whole idea of training your mind to start to bring the single purpose to everything. It’s probably the most difficult thing to grasp. I’ve had people ask, when we’ve been in classes for weeks and weeks, and they’ve said let me go over this again. There’s a purpose that the Holy Spirit has for the world, would you tell me what that is again. And this is after we’ve had weeks of going through the workbook. And the reason it seems so vague, so abstract, is that it’s impossible to hold that purpose while the mind holds on to other purposes. That’s the ego purposes that are given for the world, to get things for its own sake and to accumulate and all those things. We all recognize that part in us that just loves the thrill of getting something. When I was a kid going to Coney Island – that place could bring me happiness and salvation. I didn’t use the word salvation, but I was awful happy from that place or that particular ride or whatever. We’ve all had a sense that there are other goals or purposes that are in our minds and they obscure our function, they obscure that abstract purpose.

That purpose is what brings the fusion that we’re talking about. But as long as I’m going to hold tight to the corral, then gradually as I open the corral door that purpose starts getting more and more clear in my awareness, it just moves through me. The Course says the Holy Spirit will tell you what to do and where to go and what to say. Wow! That gives a sense of ease and effortlessness where I don’t have to be struggling with each decision that I make. There’ll be this presence that’ll start moving through me. So that’s what the Course calls one intent, singleness of purpose, it calls it a goal, that’s a passage I think I mentioned last time, the Peace of God is my one goal, the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my Purpose, my Function and my Life. That kind of sums it up. He’s saying its there, it’s the Holy Spirit in your mind. He’s guiding you to let go of all these other goals that block your purpose from your mind.

Participant1: And releasing what’s in the corral, those attachments, is what makes room for that one intent or that one purpose to be really what the mind is riveted on. I guess the mind will rivet on what is desired, and if what’s in the corral is what’s desired that’s what the mind’s attention is given to, and if that’s released then the mind is freed up to rivet itself on that one purpose. So to get to that one purpose it’s letting go of those attachments in the corral. The ego would have us believe that to open up the corral is to make ourselves vulnerable, because to the ego that is very threatening.

Speaker: I was reading the Course and there were those two words ‘risk honesty’. I mean true honesty - it seems that way at the beginning because to the ego honesty is a threat, total consistency, total laying aside of deceptions, the ego says hey, I can’t be honest, I’ll be out of business. My whole existence from the ego, is based on mirrors and schemes and games and total honesty is consistency of thought and action and word and deeds that the ego is very afraid of. So it does seem at the beginning that there’s a real vulnerability and it seems like it’s a risk if you’ve been used to repressing.

Participant1: It sure feels like one.

Participant2: Right, but if it doesn’t its like more of an accepted growth.

Participant3: Was there a particular question or aspect of relationship that you wanted to address?

Participant2: I’d like to address special relationship. I’d like to understand more about what those relationships are for and why they’re here. I didn’t really know anything about it and I’m just now reading about that in the Course.

Speaker: We go back to the metaphysics and look at why specialness was made, why special relationships were made. Once the separation seemed to occur, in an instant, it was answered in an instant. The answer was the Holy Spirit in our minds. So that’s how quick this world lasted, just one instant. But the ego wants to call forth and wants to keep the mind invested in believing that the past is still here. The ego uses time to skip over the present. You’re guilty in the past and it’s been that way for a long time and it’s not going to change. It’s that depressing kind of thinking where it’s been bad in the past and it’s going to be bad in the future and you don’t have any power to change it, you’re a victim. Whereas the Holy Spirit says Now is your point of power. Right now you can get in touch with beliefs, you can make decisions you can be open to another way of seeing and looking right now. And the Holy Spirit uses the past to bring the mind to the Holy Instant. The way this relates metaphysically is as we mentioned, that the belief in separation occurred and was answered in an instant. And the ego’s answer to the correction, to the Holy Spirit, was the special relationship. Because this is a way of seeming to provide something outside, something on the screen, that is so attractive that the mind won’t want to go within to that light, it wants to get caught up in something. And the dynamic beneath it is, now that the mind buys this belief in separation it actually is afraid of the light, afraid of the Holy Spirit at this point– the darkened mind is, because it believes that it actually pulled off the separation, it actually pulled off the impossible, which is to separate from its Creator, which is really a horrifying thought. And to believe in that is very horrifying and that is entological guilt and fear that is buried really deep in the mind. This is the belief in separation.

So now a self concept of world and personhood, and I’m now a person in the world, all these ideas and beliefs are learned and built up on to cover over that cornerstone, because the ego says that if you go to that cornerstone and lift that cornerstone, then God’s going to be there. And the ego says you really did it, you separated from God and He will get you, he will come after you for what you’ve done. You’ve actually stolen from Heaven or you’ve pulled yourself away from the Kingdom and He’s angry about it. So the ego keeps screeching don’t ever, ever, ever go near that cornerstone, we’ll make a bunch of beliefs, we’ll build a world that you’ll be so involved in that you will never go back to that point. And the special relationships, those are the things that are part of the dream world that are very attractive. The Course talks about special hate relationships and special love relationships, and the special hate relationships are the obvious ones, they’re not quite so insidious or difficult to see, because it gets back to the projection that we were talking about before. You’ve got this guilt the ego says, unload it, you don’t like this person, get them out of your life, get as far away as you can, it’s OK to hate some people, the ego counsels, and that’s its way of dumping the guilt, of getting rid of it and blaming. But the special love is the flipside, where I seek for a partner, I seek for a person, whether its children or a spouse or best friends or whatever, that will make me forget about all this unconscious stuff and I can stay so distracted in form, that I can make a bargain with them, and if I can get them to meet my needs a lot of the time they will serve as a God substitute.

But still the mind is deceived and believes that it’s lacking, it still believes it’s been kicked out of the Kingdom, and its go for what you can, eat drink and be merry for you’re going to die, and get as many people and friends that can be this focus, sometimes only one, sometimes the focus is a group. The special relationship can come in lots of ways, or it can even be with things, you know I’ve had it with all kinds of people, I don’t want to go anywhere near any men or women again, I’ve had enough of that pain, I’m just going to go find myself a good mountain, build myself a log cabin and get myself some quilts or knitting or something I like to do, and the heck with it. Any kind of pursuit, academic, I’ll become the smartest whatever, the best botanist in the world, whatever, career. It doesn’t so much matter what it is, but that’s why it’s set up that way.

And that’s where the co-dependency comes in because at a very deep level the deceived mind is looking for completion in that other person and it can’t succeed, the whole things is set up from the word go that it can’t succeed. It can seem to succeed, you can have a mirages of having everything but in a way it’s like the ego is saying it’s a cruel vicious world, never mind that it’s just a world where I perceive exactly what I think I want to find whatever I selectively choose in the world, which is the fact of it. But the ego says it’s a cruel vicious world out there, people are out to get you, the Government, the IRS, people that are always treating you bad at work, and if you can find a haven if you can just find that one person, or a couple of people that you can always talk to who won’t beat you up and won’t attack you, then build your home build your security on that relationship with that other person. So it’s like we have our basket and our emotional eggs and we start saying this is it, this is the haven that will do it and we go clink, clink, clink and we start putting our investment into the life we’re going to live together and how it’s going to be, we keep loading them in and building them up, and then invariably they seem to leave, they seem to die, they seem to get sick they seem to be going through trauma, and we’re so emotionally invested and co-dependent with them that we seem to go down the cesspool with them because it’s been set up from the beginning, they’ve been set up as a God substitute and there is no body, ever, that will serve as a God substitute.

Participant1: Its set up for the basket to drop.

Speaker: The ego is setting it up. Now the Holy Spirit says OK this is where you think you are, and they seem to be set up destructively but I can bring a touch of heaven to them, I can bring a purpose, so that you can bring that purpose to that relationship. You can literally turn the relationship over to the Holy Spirit and say I don’t know where this is going to go, but I know I want this to be for the greater good I want this to be for my waking up, and I have used this relationship, I have had investment, I really want this person to come out this way, to make something more of themselves, I wanted to fix them, I thought I could change them and on and on. I’m going to give all that to you Holy Spirit. I want you to help me unlearn the strings that I’ve attached to this relationship, the way I have wanted to use them to meet my needs, to build me up. Because I’ve felt unworthy I’ve used them as a crutch. It can seem like a very fast ride, it can seem like a real accelerated undoing of false beliefs when you hang into a relationship and you give it over to the Holy Spirit, because a lot of the repressed false ideas of belief that the mind hasn’t wanted to look at start to come up to be looked at.

Participant2: Yes, I guess part of it is the surface stuff. That was the thing that was interesting to read about, the thing that you put up against is the thing that irritates you the most, when you both put up against each other, irritating each other just as much, and all this stuff you hang on, are they special relationships, closeness to spouses or family or whatever, that’s really all that they really are?

Participant1: It accelerates that whole bringing to the light of the belief that we don’t even know we have and certainly don’t want to look at.

Participant2: Yes but if its special it makes you possibly take more of a look at it, because if it wasn’t it could be someone that you just throw off.

Speaker: It seems to have a real charge

Participant2: Yeah and it has to be something that you have a tremendous amount of fear and so on and then you’re willing to hang in there more and take a look more.

Speaker: Yes, and you’re reading “A Return to Love”, Marianne has a great way of putting it, she says we’re all coming here to learn how to love, and that’s an interesting thing to think about, because once again the deceived mind thinks it knows what tables and chairs are and also it thinks it knows what love is. It’s read books and it’s seen movies and it’s had experiences and it’s a very humbling fact when you come to see that there aren’t different kinds of love. That’s in the special relationship section too, that there seems to be in the world a brother and sister love, love for a parent, a romantic love and on and on and on, there seems to be a pretty big scale of love, puppy love, love for your pet and so on, and the Course teaches love is one and love can only look on itself. In a deceived state of mind you don’t know what love is, and to use Marianne’s phrase learning how to love or to use Jesus’ phrase learning how to become aware of the obstacles to love’s presence that I’ve constructed in my mind. That’s the process of doing it. The ego will say why do I have these people in my life, why do I keep attracting these people in my life who bring such pain to me. And to the Holy Spirit its Hey, golden opportunity here to really look at something that you can’t stand to look at in your own mind so you’re projecting it out and now you’re seeing it in the other person.

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