Opening to the Experience of Real Relationship
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Participant: My intention and interest is in taking a deeper, closer
look at the meaning of relationship. I feel like I don’t know
what real relationship is. I’m unclear. I think it’s something
that I am really not aware of. Deep down I feel that real relationship
is being in Union with God, but that is beyond my experience. So everything
I have believed about relationship has not brought me to the experience
I have yearned for. I truly want to know the experience of real relationship.
Speaker: It’s a good starting point for you to admit that you
don’t know what real relationship is. You can say the words “Union
with God,” though you speak of a collection of words that are
not your experience. You are stating your intention to come to the experience
of real relationship. What have you thought that relationship is in
Participant: I think of relationship as a harmonious experience of connectedness
between one person and another person.
Speaker: Let’s start out by looking at what your experiences have
been. You have experienced disillusionment.
Speaker: In every attempt that you have put forth to be in the connectedness
you have sought, to be in that harmonious relationship you have sought,
you have been disillusioned.
Participant: Yes, disillusioned in marriage and to some extent in all
Speaker: Marriage, family relationships, friendships, employment relationships,
etc. have all been unsuccessful in meeting your desire for a consistent
harmony and an experience of lasting connectedness.
Participant: Yes. I have at some time or another been disillusioned
in all of my relationships because I have not found the lasting happiness,
the lasting harmony, the lasting feeling of connectedness.
Speaker: How do you define relationship? This is a beginning point in
dissolving the disillusionment and dissatisfaction you experience. Are
you aware of all of the unconscious assumptions and definitions you
hold about the concepts of relationship in your mind? Do you have any
idea of the hold these concepts exert on your experiences of this world?
First we must take a look at how you have defined relationship, for
your experiences of the world result from your beliefs and concepts
and thoughts about yourself and the world.
Participant: I’m not defining it now I notice, or at least if
I am defining it now it is not a conscious thing. I’m so much
more aware that I don’t know what it is ...instead of thinking
that I do know what it is.
Speaker: If you seem to experience disillusionment, be assured that
you firmly believe that you “know” what is not true. Disillusionment
is not an experience of True Knowing, Wisdom, and Understanding. We
are together going to discover and release the false belief of attempting
to know and figure out the world and the cosmos, or in this case the
meaning of relationship in this world. Let us start this journey together
with whatever comes to mind right now.
Participant: Well relationship seems to be between persons. And I guess
a characteristic of a so called “good” relationship would
be open communication.
Speaker: And how would you characterize open communication?
Participant: I would say open communication is a willingness to talk
things out. It is a willingness to put your feelings and thoughts out
on the table and work things through. And that working through, I believe,
probably always results in changing some form component. What I mean
by “form component” is that a change of circumstances is
made as a result of that working out or working through or talking through.
That change is supposed to help the situation and that change is supposed
to make a difference or bring about a solution to the problems which
arise in the relationship. And lots of problems arise in a relationship,
so there is a great need for open communication.
Speaker: You say “problems arise in a relationship,” so
you’ve defined the problems as something wrong within the relationship
as you perceive it.
Speaker: And in defining the problems as “within the relationship,”
you also believe that something needs to change “in the relationship”
in order for there to be a solution to the problems, for there to be
the experience of connectedness and harmony that you yearn for.
Participant: Yes, that’s it!
Speaker: You believe that a change in form is necessary for there to
be a feeling of connectedness.
Participant: Yes. For example: “We’re not speaking to each
other enough, or we’re not sharing enough activities, or we’re
not spending enough time together.” Problems in relationships
are always along those lines of thought.
Speaker: So the problem as you see it is defined in terms of form and
the solution to the problem is defined that way too. Did those definitions
and that method of problem solving ever work for you? Did you find the
lasting happiness and harmony you sought for in that perception of relationship?
Participant: No, no, no! (Laughter)
Speaker: (Smiling) Did you give it a sufficient number of attempts?
Participant: Yes, yes, over and over. It was so circular. The frustration
for me was that the willingness was there to talk things out, but we
didn’t have a clue on how to do that. I mean I think we wanted
to find a solution, but we didn’t know how to talk about it. We
just didn’t know how to work it out. It’s like we were missing
the boat in finding the problem and so we were missing the boat and
solving the problem, but we didn’t even know that. So the problem
was never solved -- surprise, surprise. It was very circular. At best
we’d arrive at a temporary solution that made things seem to feel
better for awhile. But the solution never lasted because the same problem
or a related problem always recurred.
I think another characteristic in my mind of relationship, of a good
relationship, had to do with some longevity built up over time. Shared
history and shared pain and shared joys and shared struggles were all
part of building a good relationship. It was a combination of the up
side and down side, all of it. Longevity made the relationship seem
stronger even though there were many ups and downs.
Speaker: And what happened to that notion?
Participant: At some point longevity made no difference at all. That
wasn’t the cementing factor in the relationship. It seemed to
crumble in spite of many years of being together.
Speaker: Well this is a good start, then, in seeing the disillusionment
of defining relationship in a certain way and looking for solutions
to problems in a certain way. It is seeing the disillusionment of the
pattern of trying to use relationships to solve a perceived inner lack,
an emptiness that was unresolved. It is a pattern of looking to forms
and situations and outcomes to resolve the feelings of emptiness or
lack of connection and intimacy. We are together on the verge of learning
that forms and outcomes and situations are the past, so when I want
to fix somebody, when I want to change somebody, when I want a situation
to change, a behavior to change, I am actually hoping to change the
past to resolve an inner conflict. The belief is that a change in form
is a real change and will really resolve the conflict.
Participant: So how do you mean that? How do you mean that looking for
a change in behavior, whether it’s the other person’s behavior
or even my own behavior, or wanting a change in my situation -- is hoping
to change the past?
Speaker: Well everything is truly perfect As Is right now, yet feelings
of emptiness, feelings of lack of connection, and feelings of lack of
intimacy are all only symptoms of the belief that things would be better
off if they were different than they are. The world of images is the
past, and the desire to change the images is the desire to change the
past. This is a reflection of the belief that one can only find what
one seeks if something changes in form. It is the demand that the past
be different instead of opening to the healing idea that only a change
of mind is necessary to resolve the apparent conflict. This change of
mind can only occur in the present, and can only offer the awareness
that the past is gone.
Participant: How do I come to that awareness, the awareness that the
past is gone?
Speaker: It is essential to begin to realize that the resolution of
all conflict is within the mind. You have to be willing to look within
your mind before we can really get at the problem or recognize the Solution.
The apparent problem is resolved as it is brought to the inner Solution,
and that is why everything is truly perfect As Is right now. The inner
Solution knows no opposite.
Our discussion must necessarily include metaphysics or a willingness
to go beyond the physical, beyond what is perceived with the five senses.
We must be willing to open to the Truth of our very Being in God. Only
in the present, this very instant, the Living Moment, is there true
freedom and release.
Participant: OK. I am willing to look at this very deeply. I truly want
to find peace that lasts and an Intimacy that is Constant. I am willing
to do whatever it takes. What are some basic metaphysics that we need
to explore? It seems that you are implying that I have a lot of unconscious
beliefs and assumptions that I need to question. Is this the case?
Speaker: We must together question all that has been believed to be
true. We must from the outset not hold any belief to be sacred or beyond
question. For we cannot experience what is beyond the physical unless
we are willing to question all that we have believed to be true. Do
you understand the direction our discussion must take?
Participant: Yes, I see the direction we are moving in. We are looking
at very basic questions, questioning the very nature of reality, the
very nature of what is real. It is asking those questions: “What
is God? Who am I? What is the meaning of life?” This is where
we are going in all of this, isn’t it?
Speaker: Indeed! Let us be very direct and straightforward. Awakening
to Truth is the simple realization that God is real and that Love is
real, and that there is no opposite to a Loving God. Divine Mind, Being
One with God, is Created to be a Creator. Spirit, Being and Creating
in the likeness of God, is Spirit. As God is Spirit, so is All Creation.
So the natural State of the Mind is Pure Creativity. Creation is the
extension of God. And Being One with God is to extend as God extends.
This is what Jesus refers to as the Kingdom of Heaven.
Perception, as a sharp contrast, is a distortion of Creative ability.
And projection makes perception. In other words, there appear to be
illusory thoughts in mind that weren’t Created by God and that
seem to be projected or to “go out” apart from the Mind
of God. In truth this is impossible, for Ideas leave not their Source,
and What God Creates as One is One forever. Miscreation is projection
and this is always a distortion of Reality. All perception is unreal
in that sense because it has no divine origin. Perception was made instead
of Created, and therefore cannot be real.
So in very basic terms, Mind was Created to be a Creator, not a perceiver.
Perception is the wish to be “some thing” that You, as Spirit,
are not. This wish seems to have taken form. So the entire perceptual
world of time/space/matter is an illusion. The nothingness of illusion
pertains to all matter, all time, and all space, for what seems to be
linear time-space is a distortion of Reality and but masquerades as
an “opposite” to Eternity. This apparent cosmos of galaxies
and stars and creatures is the belief that it is possible for there
to be “some thing” other than God, other than Eternal Love.
With the belief in separation from God, the sleeping mind became identified
with the body and a cosmos surrounding the body as its new “home.”
The body is seen as the subject, which then perceives a world and a
cosmos with other bodies as the object. There is something to perceive
with, a body and five senses, and something that is perceived, a world
and a cosmos, and that’s what’s involved in perception.
If we examine this in a time sense, all of those forms, all those projected
idol image thought forms, are the past. In other words, the ego seemed
to happen in the unholy instant, in the past where the mind seemed deceived
and confused and forgot its True Reality. The projected world is just
a shadow or an out-picturing of the false idea that is the past. So,
when we talk about personal relationships and bring our discussion back
to the context of relationships, we could accurately say that all personal
relationships are the past. The grievances that are held always involve
the body self-concept and behavior: (ie., “You said you would
do this and you didn’t, you aren’t the same as when I first
married you. We agreed to be together, but you’re not the same
person that I married.”) Money issues, sexual issues and concerns,
jealousies, envy, and all the so-called relationship “problems,”
no matter how you define the situation, are body based. They are based
on the belief in the reality of the past. The deceived mind is trying
to use the past to resolve the guilt and conflict that it feels (ie.,
“I’m lacking and there’s something that can make up
for that lack, there’s something in the world to complete me,
and there’s a way that things can work out that will make me happy
and fill the void I feel inside.”)
Participant: So, when you talk about using the past to resolve conflict,
you’re talking about the belief in separation. Is that what you
are referring to when you say “using the past to resolve the guilt
Speaker: Yes. The belief in separation gets played out in form in such
a way that the out-picturing of the belief seems to be a perceptual
world in which persons, places, events, and things are still here and
still happening, though in reality they are already over. They are all
the past. What seems to be still occurring reflects the belief in separation
in mind, the belief that one is lacking something, the belief that one
is not whole and complete already.
In other words, the cosmos was made to be like a movie screen or a giant
distractive device, a dream where pseudo problems and pseudo salvation
could be worked out. The world is a dream of images, a vast magic show
which the ego holds out as a substitute to Eternal Reality. The ego
is trying to convince the sleeping mind that happiness can be found
on the movie screen or in the dream. Every attempt to get “relationship,”
defined in form terms, to “work out,” is an attempt to find
happiness and love where they are not. This is a prime example of “looking
for love in all the wrong places.” Yet this blind seeking applies
to all form, for Love is Spirit and not limited to form of any kind.
And the sleeping mind which seems to have forgotten its Identity as
Spirit appears to be dreaming of a world of unreality, though it knows
not it is dreaming.
Relationships which are defined in terms of form are always defined
in terms of persons. Believing its “self” to be a person,
the sleeping mind has dissociated the Light of Truth and has forgotten
“I am Spirit, I am Eternal, I am Changeless.” Focused in
on and identified with a fragment (person), as opposed to or in contrast
to other fragments (persons), the sleeping mind perceives everyone as
a separate person with a separate mind and separate characteristics.
There is an apparent ongoing push and pull, a repulsion and attraction
in these co-called “form relationships,” and there is an
underlying friction which seems to exist between these so called fragments
(persons). Each one seems to be a fragment with a “life of their
own,” and each one seems to be very unique and very different
from the others.
The world teaches: “even in the best of relationships, you’ve
got to take the good with the bad, because after all no one is perfect.”
In this world perfection is illusive, for there never was a perfect
person or a perfect family or a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship.
Yet when we go much deeper into the lack of connectedness we can begin
to see that the way relationship is defined is the problem. It is an
erroneous concept of relationship that blocks real relationship from
awareness. The world’s concept of relationship includes the concept
of persons with private minds, thoughts, bodies, needs, wants, and personal
interests. Therefore interpersonal relationships are seen through the
lens of lack (ie., fulfilling needs, mutual psychological and sensory
gratification, reciprocity, etc.).
Participant: Yes, my happiness is in meeting your needs and having my
needs met by you is a common belief. That is the common hope in relationships.
Speaker: The sleeping mind believes that it is a person, that it has
real needs, that it is lacking in certain ways, and that it takes other
people to help meet those needs and fulfill those lacks. When one looks
at the world at large, at a larger scale so to speak, there seems to
be an interdependence apparent in the way the world is set up (ie.,
the food chain, the ecological system, supply and demand, and psychological
dependencies as well). The idea of interdependence is that there is
a chain of dependence of one person or thing upon another person or
other people and things. The belief system of the world relies on this
dependence for its existence. The belief system on which all of this
is based is what has to be questioned if we’re to get down to
the bottom of the false concept of relationship and discover the meaning
of real relationship.
There is a lot of talk about intimacy and connectedness and harmony.
In love songs lyrics speak of “forever” and “everlasting,”
and certainly the ideal of enduring, everlasting, harmonious, continuous
relationship sounds good. Yet those terms don’t describe what
is perceived as interpersonal relationship in this world. For even in
the “best relationships,” when they seem to be sustained
that is, it is still perceived that death of the body or splitting up
and moving on cuts the relationship short of the ideal.
Participant: And are you saying that this perceived “cutting short
of the ideal” is all because the relationship is defined in terms
of the body?
Speaker: Yes. Bodies seem to join and to separate, but True Union is
Eternal. Loss is the belief in separation, which is symbolized by a
limited body identity. All definitions of relationship that involve
the body are based in loss, yet in real relationship, of the Spirit,
there is no such concept of loss. Even the seemingly more “advanced”
relationship concepts, (ie. twin flames or soulmates) are based on an
assumption that relationship involves bodies, that there is a person
in the world for everyone that is a “true love.” The unconscious
belief is that there’s some kind of wholeness which is accessible
when those two people come together that is otherwise not available.
Yet True Wholeness is the ever accessible Divine Mind Which transcends
the belief in separation and the body entirely. Wholeness is the experience
of the Living Moment.
The Soul is Spirit and is not limited or contained in any way. The Soul
is not in a body, nor are there separate souls, for the Soul is One.
There are not separate “souls” seeking to “return”
to the One, there is only the One. The concept that Destiny is fulfilled
when two “souls” meet each other rests on the concept of
separation and the “relationship” is dependent upon the
“meeting” of souls, dependent upon finding that “lost
soulmate” or that “twin flame.” There’s still
a dependency on time-space and form in this artificial construction
of relationship. The Mind is infinitely One in Reality, but in the deceived
state of mind asleep there appear to be separate persons, separate bodies,
and each separate person or body seems to have a separate mind associated
with it. So the properties of the body have been assigned to the Mind/Soul,
and the Mind/Soul is then seen as fragmented. In this sleeping state
of mind, relationship is therefore defined in terms of persons. We seem
to have one person with a body, mind, and soul and another person with
a body, mind, and soul, and they may seem to have some commonalities,
some shared interests and goals, some of the same likes and dislikes.
Participant: ...And the more the better. (Laughter)
Speaker: Yes, according to the world, the more the better. Intuitively
common ground can be a symbol of Oneness, yet “the more the better”
implies that there will be differences, that everybody is a unique and
separate and individual, and that no two people are completely alike.
In the world’s perspective there may seem to be common ground
in terms of values, priorities, and even in terms of physical or sexual
Participant: Or even lifestyle.
Speaker: Yes. Social class, status, and many different things seem to
be common ground in terms of the world. These are all ingredients in
the world’s view which go into the making of a “good relationship.”
Yet we come full circle to the point that you began with, that you don’t
know real relationship. And the reason you don’t know real relationship
is because what the world calls “relationship” is not real
relationship at all. It is a farce, being false. It appears to hold
out the promises of happiness and harmony. The ideal is to live happily
ever after, but that ideal is an illusory form, and as one goes through
experiences of this world the ideal seems to be shattered over and over
and over again and again. The illusory form never lasts, for what was
made temporal can never be Eternal. There is no substitute for the Eternal
Love of God.
The deceived mind looks to form, to the past, to fill the void it feels.
The deceived mind has denied the perfection of this very instant, and
attempts to change the form until it finds the ideal, the perfect form
of happiness. This is looking for Love where It can never be found.
This is looking for Eternity in time-space. Yet time can never take
the place of Eternity, nor can the finite replace the Infinite. And
concepts of self can never take the place of the Self God created One
forever as Spirit.
Participant: I’m feeling like I want to be more in touch with
those self concepts, whatever they are. I am not sure about what I believe
and what I am clinging to and trying to make real.
Speaker: It takes willingness and attentiveness to examine beliefs closely.
You begin by just noticing the thoughts, the thoughts that seem to fill
your consciousness everyday, and you will gain some idea of how body
related they are. As you give your attention to the Purpose of forgiveness,
you begin asking in every situation: “What is this for? What does
this bring me?” Is this pursuit bringing me security and connectedness
and peace and harmony. If I know where I’m going to be staying,
who I’m going to be with, and what I’m going to be doing
in the future, what does this really bring me? Has there ever been a
lasting peace and security in “knowing” the past or attempting
to “figure out” the future? What self concept has ever brought
you a lasting experience of connectedness?
Participant: Are you suggesting that anytime I can notice that I think
there’s a form that will provide me with peace, happiness, and
security, that this noticing is exposing my self concept?
Participant: I’m not real clear on that. Can you expand on that
idea? I’m not seeing the connection real clearly.
Speaker: Well, in the ultimate sense, the entire cosmos makes up the
self concept. In its deceived or sleeping state, the mind seems to select
or zoom in on particular things that it wants to identify with, that
it thinks will bring it security and happiness. It has forgotten desireless
Oneness and is dreaming a world of false desire. In the dreaming of
the world this so-called selection can appear to have enormous variation.
The sleeping mind seems to take on the forms of the world (ie., a body
identity, partnership, money, power, fame, romance, just to name some
Participant: Then love, as I have experienced it in this world, is still
part of that deception, that condition of sleep and dreams?
Speaker: If you mean by “love” romance and sexual attraction
and mutual gratification, yes they are all experiences of the self concept.
Anything that seems to exist in form, in and of itself apart from the
rest of the cosmos, is the self concept. Divine Mind is completely Abstract.
An idol is an illusion of a specific form, and God knows not form. Idols
are believed to offer a satisfaction and happiness will that will substitute
for the Abstract Love of God, and the “game” of the deceived
mind is the pursuit of these things. Seek and do not find is the game
of the world. So opening to the State of Mind which transcends the self
concept is truly a miracle. You begin by watching your mind so you can
start to notice the attachment to the things of the world, then you
sink beneath those thoughts to the Divine Light within. Meditation is
an emptying of the contents of consciousness. There is a Silence within
in Which the world disappears completely.
Participant: I can tell by those thoughts, when I think along that line
of thought, that I must still believe that there’s this perfect
mix of Mind and body (Laughter). Maybe I think it’s 95% Mind and
5% body, but as long as I think that there’s even a tiny percent
of anything but Divine Mind, it’s a joke isn’t it?
Speaker: Yes. There is no Life, Truth, Substance, or Intelligence in
matter. There is no Mind in matter. Divine Mind is Abstract, yet the
concepts of time, space, the body, etc. are concrete or specific. Forgiveness
is unlearning the belief that there is Mind in matter. It is seeing
that matter is causeless or without a source. The sleeping mind, under
the Spirit’s Guidance, is unlearning the belief that an Idea of
God can leave its Eternal Source and have existence in time-space apart
from its Source. It is unlearning the belief that Spirit can leave Spirit
and enter into time/space/matter. The sleeping mind is thus unlearning
everything it has “learned” about “material existence.”
Such is forgiveness.
The world is the attempt to combine the body and the Mind. Yet the truth
is that body and Mind are not reconcilable. Divine Mind is completely,
wholly, totally Mind. There can be no compromise in Absolute Truth.
The Truth is true and has no opposite. The Truth is “What Is,”
Absolute and Eternal and Changelessly Perfect. So what is practical
in realizing the Truth? To forgive is practical, and to forgive is to
expose the false as false by watching the mind and releasing thoughts
and beliefs that have no basis in Reality. It is important not to despair
when you begin to uncover and expose illusions, when you begin to attentively
watch the thoughts of consciousness. It is important not to be discouraged
as erroneous thoughts surface, but to be very grateful that such thoughts
are not real thoughts. Seeing their unreality is the true release. Such
The only reason to be so attentive and alert in mind watching and to
want to release erroneous thoughts is because they cover over the Divine
Light in awareness. Opening to the Light within is opening to a Higher
Participant: Do you at some point feel a certainty about relationships?
As the mind is riveted on a Higher Purpose is there a certainty of Union
with God in relationship? It’s just that I haven’t equated
Purpose with relationship and I think I don’t know what "Higher
Purpose" and "relationship" really mean.
Speaker: This is why we are looking at all this very deliberately, very
directly, and very slowly, step by step, precept by precept, assumption
by assumption. You will discover that every question is really a question
of identity and is based on what you believe to be true about yourself
and the cosmos. A sleeping, deceived mind is unclear about everything
and “knows” nothing, for it has denied its Self and God,
and its Self and God can only be known. Clarity is instantaneous, it’s
not something that takes time to realize. Removing the blocks or obstacles
to clarity is the task at hand.
Participant: You don’t have to think about clarity, right?
Speaker: Clarity is not something that requires analysis or synthesis.
Analysis and synthesis are erroneous streams of thought about the past
and future. Clarity is Now. It is not something that is put together
or built upon or arrived at in the future. Clarity is this Moment.
Participant: It’s here in a flash?
Speaker: Yes. If you are clear Now, then awareness is clear Now and
there are no false assumptions believed real. If you seem to feel lost
or unclear, there are beliefs and assumptions that seem to block the
Light within, the Light of Understanding.
Participant: I don’t know what questions to ask. I don’t
know where I’m not clear.
Speaker: Let’s keep our discussion very simple. Look at how you
are feeling now. Look directly at what you are feeling in this Moment.
Participant: I don’t know ...kind of, just kind of limbo.
Speaker: What does that feel like for you?
Participant: Ummm. Kind of suspended or in between.
Speaker: In between. Ahhhhh, the belief in duality to look at and release.
Suspended ...something behind and something ahead ...something to move
toward and something to move away from. What is this something that
you believe is out in front of you, out in the future? If you believe
and feel as if you are in between, you must believe you are in between
something and something else.
Participant: I think I feel as if I am in between what I once defined
as relationship and what is actually an experience of real relationship,
between what I thought I knew and didn’t, and what I don’t
yet think I fully know.
Speaker: Well since we are not concerned with finding meaning or understanding
in illusions of the past, let us turn our attention again to the experience
of real relationship, which you have labeled “what I don’t
yet think I fully know.” An experience of real relationship ...when
would that experience be, what time could it be but Now?
Participant: (Laughter) I know the words “It is Now,” but
I don’t know if I really know the experience. I still am not sure
about the present moment that you speak of. Maybe there isn’t
any experience except Now, but I still believe in a past and a future.
Speaker: Okay, look at this directly. You speak of the Now as a concept,
but when you say you feel in limbo, in between something and something
else, you define these two “somethings” as the way you used
to define relationship in the past and the “hypothetical experience”
of real relationship you pretend to want and yet believe is in the future.
If you feel in limbo, if you feel in between, if you feel confused,
it must simply be that you are not clear Now?
Participant: Yes. Oh I accept that ...that I’m not clear Now.
Speaker: You accept it. But are you willing to question what you believe
and your perceptions of yourself and the world? Belief clouds mind and
perceptions of self and the world. Can you see that?
Participant: I accept that that is the case. I accept that that must
be the case, otherwise I wouldn’t feel in limbo. I don’t
know where to go with that feeling though. I don’t know how to
go deeper so I can be clear about this? I guess I’m not clear
on what it is I’m not clear about.
Speaker: Then let us retrace our steps a bit. Relationship problems,
as they are defined in this world, are always specific. What are some
specific relationship problems that come to mind for you? What are the
things that are bothering you about relationships in your stream of
consciousness? You must start with concrete, specific examples and work
it back much deeper into the mind to discover what you still believe
is real and true. It shouldn’t be a strain or effort, as if you
were on a witch hunt looking for the conflicts in your mind. If you
just relax and watch the thoughts go by, gently become aware of something
that seems slightly distressing, annoying, or irritating about any relationship
you may think of. Just relax and try not to willfully search your mind.
Just sink inward and be still a moment, and let the thoughts go by.
Participant: What comes to mind is the trivial stuff that we were laughing
about at dinner, the stuff I that I use to block my experience of the
Joy of the Moment.
Speaker: Be more specific?
Participant: Ummm, ...having my mind be occupied with what is really
of no consequence, with what really doesn’t matter, that which
is all about form, that which is petty and doesn’t support my
remembering the Joy of the Moment. I’m afraid of the Silence of
this Moment, afraid of the nothingness it will bring, fearful to not
have any of those trivial thoughts about the stuff of the world. And
that’s why I said that there’s a time and place for that
trivial stuff in a flippant, arrogant tone of voice, as if some of that
trivia is good and necessary. When I am in the flow of the Moment, happy
and content, I feel on Purpose. In the flow it seems I am completely
unaware of those trivial thoughts. I don’t feel on Purpose when
I’m having those trivial thoughts.
Speaker: From what you are speaking about it seems you feel emotionally
split. The declaration I hear in your statements is that at times you
experience yourself as having trivial thoughts that annoy you and at
other times you feel that you are on Purpose with the Spirit and feel
happy and content. Yet you can’t be two selves that are completely
irreconcilable in every way, one being true and one being false. It
is not possible to be one self at times and another self at other times.
You must come to the point where you can identify the content of the
false as false and see that the trivial thoughts and the emotional upset
of any kind or degree are not and never have been the Real You. The
illusion of upsetting emotion comes from the attempt to hold on to and
make real that which has no reality whatsoever. All of the trivial thoughts
you speak of are thoughts of the past or future and are specific forms
or images or scenes or events. These trivial thoughts are all the same
in that they are all the past. And these trivial thoughts are believed
to be the source of happiness by the deceived mind. These trivial thoughts
are clung to and justified and defended by a deceived mind that believes
the solution to a feeling of inner emptiness can be found among them.
Yet this deceived mind is itself trivial stuff, for it is not real and
it is not Who You are, the I Am Presence. The happiness of the Real
You and the Real God Which created You is simply the experience of this
Moment. For there really Is only Now.
Participant: Then I can release those trivial thoughts.
Speaker: Believing that anything exists apart from this Moment, such
as the belief in a self (a person) that has to stop thinking all this
trivial stuff by force and effort if necessary, is simply a false belief
that has no reality. God created You as Love and therefore You cannot
be two selves, a person on a time line and an Eternal Spirit. Spirit
(Love) has no opposite. This very moment is Life ItSelf. There is nothing
else. You can only truly experience “What Is” right now!
Your Real Relationship is in God this very moment, and this Relationship
is the only Real Relationship, for Divine Mind (Love) has no opposite.
Participant: So the frustration and the confusion about worldly relationships
is really an attempt to be two selves. And you are saying that such
an attempt is impossible in Reality. So I can only accept my Self as
God created Me, as Spirit or Divine Mind, because there is nothing else
besides my Self and God in an Eternal, Loving Real Relationship. I have
My Life in and of the Mind of God.
Speaker: Yes!!! The Truth is Divinely Simple. It is the Silence, the
Stillness of Life in Divine Mind. It is Spirit. It is Everlasting Happiness
and Freedom and Joy! Letting go of the ego (deceived mind) is releasing
all erroneous thoughts, including the belief in a self that could ever
think such thoughts. Only the Idea of Christ, a Pure Thought in the
Mind of God, is true. And You are That. That is All there Is.
Participant: Do I know how to let go of the ego?
Speaker: Yes, you must.
Participant: Because Love is my natural State of Being, is that why
you say yes I must? I must know how to forgive the ego and remember
Speaker: Conflict would be Eternal if you couldn’t remember the
Love that You are.
Participant: So you are saying that if I claim that I don’t know
how to release the ego, or I claim I don’t know how to do it quite
yet, that claim is just the ego making an excuse, afraid of the Love?
Speaker: Yes. And excuses are illusions. It was the ego that believed
in the need to make them. Effort itself is an illusion. It takes no
effort to Be What You are right Now.
Participant: I still feel at times that I am just not trying hard enough
and consistently enough to reach Enlightenment.
Speaker: The “I” of which you speak is not You as God created
You. Awakening is the experience of your Reality Now. Awakening is the
release of the concept that there are two selves, a letting go of the
belief that observed and observer are separate, that subject and object
are separate. All strain comes from comparison, and all comparison presumes
a split that is not real. How can the comparison of two illusions, both
unreal, be meaningful? The comparison of nothing to nothing is meaningless.
Illusions are one, not many. There is no split in the perceptual world,
just a single erroneous belief in separation in mind. Seeing the impossibility
of this belief is healing or coming to Wholeness.
Participant: I want to get this anchored in awareness. I feel like it
is such an expansive awareness and yet it feels very tentative and elusive,
like I’m just barely touching it. So it is a letting go of the
idea that the "thinker" of time/space/matter "thoughts"
has any reality whatsoever. Are you saying that that "thinker"
is not real?
Speaker: God is real. Christ, a Thought of God, is real. Eternity, Eternal
Thought, is real. The time/space/matter cosmos is not real because it
has no source, no “thinker,” no real "source,"
and therefore follows nothing. Spirit Creates Spirit, Eternity Creates
the Eternal, Infinity Ceates the Infinite, Perfection Creates the Perfect.
An erroneous belief is not Spirit, not Infinite, not Eternal, and not
Perfect. Christ is a Thought in the Mind of God, and God is a real Thinker.
The “thinker” of the apparent temporal cosmos is not a real
thinker, so the cosmos has no reality at all. There is no need to harbor
or protect meaningless “thoughts” or to attempt to maintain
a meaningless “thinker.” The “thinker” and the
“thoughts” are one illusion, and that illusion has gone.
You are as God created You right Now!
Participant: I am not so sure, at least not yet.
Speaker: A “not yet” thought is simply an attempt to deny
the Reality of That Which You are forever. Reality is beyond the need
for acceptance. “What Is” remains forever “What Is.”
To accept Reality really only means to be aware of It. Any doubt or
uncertainty is characteristic of the “thinker” and the “thoughts”
that make up the ego/cosmos illusion.
Participant: So all the time-space “thoughts” are unreal
and the mind that seemed to “think” the unreal thoughts
is unreal -- that’s what it amounts to. The ego has no source
and therefore does not exist.
Participant: And so that illusion can’t be Who I am.
Speaker: Indeed! You are as God created You.
Participant: It’s that awareness I was trying to get at just a
couple of days ago, when I was asking you to talk about real thoughts.
That’s what this is about isn’t it? It’s that distinction
between real thoughts and unreal thoughts?
Speaker: (Smiling) To Be or not to Be. To think with God or to attempt
the impossible and make believe illusions are real. To feel Loving forever
or to hallucinate the experience of upset and suffering...
Participant: Only the real “I” can think real thoughts,
and everything else was from a make believe "i". And I can
tell which “I” is the real “I” by how I feel
right Now. Is that what you’re saying?
Speaker: Yes. We began this conversation by exploring the topic of relationship,
but we have come to the Point of healing the mind by releasing the single
belief in separation that was the underpinning of the entire time/space/matter
cosmos. We discovered together that a fundamental assumption in defining
all interpersonal "relationships" was the concept of personhood,
of separate selves with separate bodies, minds, and thoughts. In sleep
and deception it has appeared as if the split was within the perceptual
cosmos, on the screen so to speak (ie., subject/object, observer/observed,
perceiver/perceived, person/other person, individual/cosmos), though
in Light it is seen that the split was but an error in mind. Seeing
the unreality of the error has demonstrated the unreality of the cosmos
the error seemed to produce.
Reality is Whole as Divine Mind is Whole and as Spirit is Whole. Oneness
is of and in God and cannot be broken apart. You are Vast as God created
You. You cannot possibly be a fragment of mankind, a fragment of humanness
among many other such fragments, in a cosmos which seems to be filled
with hostility and conflict. All the former “effort and striving”
were directed at protecting and defending this make believe self-concept
of multiple selves and a cosmos that has no reality at all. Happily
that illusion of effort is past, for Who You are Now is a Fact of God.
You are not multiple selves, just One. And your Real Self, the One Spirit,
is indivisible. Such is the simple Truth.
Awakening is Inner Harmony and You simply cannot “oppose”
anything. There is no one and no thing “else” for You to
oppose, You Being Pure Oneness. One Self is Reality. All comparisons
and judgments and concepts and opinions vanish when it is seen that
they were all but one illusory self of meaningless thoughts. All opinions,
every seeming fragment, and every seeming person that seemed to have
an existence outside the Mind of God were one illusion. This was the
past, yet the past is gone. The Truth is forever of God, in Eternity,
and Changelessly Now!
Participant: So, are you saying that the entire time-space cosmos is
the “realm” of the unreal thoughts.
Participant: ...coming from an unreal “thinker.”
Speaker: The “thinker” and “thoughts” were one
Participant: And Reality is... ?
Speaker: God and God’s Creation. ...the Thinker and Thought are
One Reality, Now and forever!
Participant: So beyond belief is Reality. Beyond concepts is a real
Speaker: Yessssssss! Oneness can only be experienced Now, not described
or explained. Oneness is beyond all beliefs, all concepts, all opinions,
all specifics. Oneness or Truth or Enlightenment is an experience always
available Now. By seeing everything that is false, in its entirety,
the false is negated and only Truth remains. For Truth simply Is. And
there is nothing but Truth.
Participant: Then Truth is not a personal experience?
Speaker: Truth is Universal, Absolute Experience. “Persona”
is a concept which means mask. When the mask is laid aside, the Eternal
Spirit is no longer hidden in awareness. In Reality Spirit is never
“hidden.” Wholeness completely transcends the illusory concept
of parts. Truth is openly revealed and revealing (Revelation).
Participant: Well that is a breakthrough! Mind watching, or noticing
all those past and future thoughts, is not a personal thing. That’s
where the struggle seemed to come in my perception. I mean if it’s
a personal job it’s a chore, and it’s a big job that seems
to take a lot of effort. If I release the personal “me,”
I am “the looking” “the awareness.” There is
nothing to defend and nothing to be assaulted in this gentle looking
Speaker: (Smiling) There is no concept of “not yet.”
Speaker: You see the personality construct was linear. This very Moment
has swallowed up the time line, all sense of personality, all concepts
of interpersonal relationship, and the “not yet” concept.
Heaven is surely a State of Mind that is Now. This is the Grand Simplicity
Participant: Hummmm ...I may ask you to remind me of this a lot in the
next few days. It feels very important to let this one in. I can feel
the resistance hovering over it, kind of moving in and out of the clarity
around it. I notice that this pattern has recently been the case. When
I feel like there’s been a real kernel here that can pop everything
open, I feel an excitement and vitality and clarity. Then I feel this
dense fog roll in very quickly.
Speaker: You think I believe that?
Participant: (Laughter) Which “I” is that coming from?
Speaker: (Laughter) Option.
Participant: Option. What do you mean?
Speaker: (Smiling) Another concept.
Participant: Giving myself an option to be unclear?
Speaker: Yet Clarity is only this very Moment.
Participant: So why am I afraid to be clear?
Speaker: Who is that “I” that is afraid? There’s no
striving in the Now. Just look.
Participant: I notice that I feel like I have to put so much mind energy
forth to get some grasp of this experience, and to hang onto it. I feel
like it takes so much focus and intention, and it feels like a great
effort. It feels like something I have to work at. And you’re
saying it’s not any of that?
Speaker: Who is the “I” that has to “work at”
something? The experience of Now is not linear. "Work at"
implies continuation, process. Enlightenment is instantaneous.
Participant: Ahhhhh. So why do I feel that it takes a concentrated effort
and intention on my part to stay with this, even in the conversation?
Is it because I’m still looking through the ego filter?
Participant: So feeling like it takes effort is resistance?
Speaker: Resistance is an illusory “symptom” of false belief.
Do you want to attempt to think apart from God and believe that it is
possible to do so?
Participant: No. But I feel like that’s where I’ll be if
I don’t keep applying this effort. I still believe vigilance is
called for. I feel the struggle of being vigilant.
Speaker: Go past the concept of vigilance. It is just a concept. Let
it go. Persons are vigilant. You have seen yourself as a person who
carried the vigilance torch, and it seemed to be a helpful concept for
a while. Now, let it go.
Vigilance ...against what? Vigilance falls away in the recognition that
there is nothing against which to be vigilant, there is in fact no ego.
Surrender to “What Is,” for Love is inevitable. End the
search Now. Accept your Self as God created You, Changelessly One forever.
Thinking you “know” continues to be an attachment that you
have to let go of. Time plays heavily here. The past and present you
believe you’ve figured out already, and you want to “know”
the future so you can then figure it out too. In that there is no Knowing
whatsoever. You deceive yourself royally. Let Holy Spirit show you how
far reaching is your “I know” belief and what an obstacle
it is to your awareness of Love and Truth. It is a needless protection
from uncertainty and against surrender. You use it for a false sense
of control because you are fearful. And what is it you fear? The Unknown.
And that fear of the Unknown is actually reinforced every time that
you think: “I know.” The “I know” belief is
a mask over the dreaded “I don’t know.” Quit denying
“I don’t know” with “I know.” Instead
look at “I don’t know.” Who is the “I”
that does not know? Certainly, not the Self God created Perfect and
One. The “i” who wants to know believes there is something
in this world to “know.” It therefore feels it will be swallowed
up if it doesn’t hold onto that “knowing.”
So it comes back to self being lost in Self, i "being lost"
in I, in Being. Indeed, that’s the way it goes, that’s the
way the little self disappears. The resulting Joy is indescribable.
Judgment is how you demonstrate that you believe you do “know,”
and in every instant it merely keeps hidden your unsubstantiated fear
of the Unknown that remains blocked from your awareness. You fear what
you do not Know only because it is unrecognized, that is, it does not
fit one of the mental boxes you use to “safely hold the world
together.” Simply see that what you are attempting to "hold
together" is only an hallucination.
Participant: Thanks for this opportunity to open to the Truth of Real