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Going Deeper part 10
Editor's note: This transcript has been lightly edited to bring clarification to certain points of the dialogue and for easier readability. For this reason, it does not match the corresponding audio mp3 word-for-word. However, the overall content and the expressed ideas remain unchanged.
Participant: So, I want to go back to the relationship
again and just take it from where we left it, because I feel like we
kind of left it hanging. So having exposed relationship, where do I
go from there? What do I do with this information? Because I am going
to be in relationship. In a way it’s like I cannot not be in relationship,
at least as the world defines it. I think another good thing to bring
up is that I don’t really know what relationship is. I don’t
remember my experience of relationship, which was relationship with
the Father. That’s blurred in my mind. I don’t fully remember
that. And that’s really what relationship is, not what I have
defined as relationship in terms of this world.
Participant: That would be one of those more helpful constructs.
Speaker: Yes. A phenomenal learning accomplishment, as the course says. It takes a lot of mind training to give up ones investment in a personal small self and metaphorically, two people who have that as their focus or intention move towards that holy relationship where they give up all the bargains and the reciprocity, the seeking of someone to please them, to gratify them, or to satisfy them in some way.
Participant: So the focus is solely on that one intent, and that’s how it’s possible not to have any personal interest enter into it?
Speaker: Yes, the one intent to step back to be the observer, to not have personal interest. When differences do seem to come up or when the mind is upset, then that’s seen as an opportunity to openly talk about it. There’s a willingness to lay things out on the table and tell it as it’s perceived and to support each other and to seeing that that’s just another belief that I’m still holding on to, without attacking or defending the beliefs. That’s just kind of a laying it on the table and looking at it. In that sense that’s a metaphor of a way that relationship can be used as a helpful tool in awakening.
Participant: So holy relationship is merely a reflection of that Father/Son relationship?
Speaker: Yes. Like a miniature of that.
Participant: So in terms of what to do with relationships, it’s the intention to let each one be a holy relationship?
Speaker: Yes every one.
Participant: And what if the other person isn’t aware of all this? It’s in my mind anyway, really? It’s not dependent on the other person obviously?
Speaker: Every time I’m upset, I’ve projected. Anger is nothing more than an attempt to make someone else feel guilty. And every time I’m angry or upset with someone or something it’s an attempt to project the responsibility onto someone else, it’s an attempt to play the victim of external happenings again. And in a sense if seen right and correctly it’s a great opportunity to be grateful for the opportunity to see what’s going on. What am I buying into, what construct or thought-form-association is so important that I’m letting it stand in between my brother and myself or my awareness of my true self, Christ? If I’m offended by a partner or a lover or a friend, a neighbor or someone at work I’m offended in Christ. The Christ is always there in my awareness of it and whenever I am offended in anything, I have a belief, a grievance, a block in my own mind that I need to let go of, that I need to see as just a false idea that I do not need to invest in. So there’s a real gratefulness for what even the world calls relationship because it allows that opportunity to get in touch with that. If I get into the ascetic mode and I just want to run away from the world and not be around people and run to the mountains so to speak, it’s still an opportunity to practice mind watching and to go into the silence and to disidentify from the thoughts-forms of the world, but the relationship is a great time saver. It’s a great acceleration when I can use the seeming relationships of this world to help me get in touch with my beliefs and my concepts that I hold on to.
Participant: And is a special hate relationship simply looking at that as an attack instead of looking at that as an opportunity? Isn’t that where a special hate relationship comes in? It’s where I feel undermined and that I’ve got something to loose and something to protect and defend that’s being attacked instead of seeing aha, this is another opportunity to get in touch with what that construct is that I’m invested in.
Speaker: Well in a sense, special love relationships and those thought-form associations are just a different form, a masked form of hatred. It’s not like special hate relation is an attack and special love in some way isn’t. It’s just a different form. The special love relationship is very deceptive because it seems to be that you are complementing me, that you are agreeing with my views. You are bringing me pleasure. I love having you around in the special love relationship because you’re fulfilling needs and everything. But the flipside is always, since you are literally my substitute for God, if you heaven forbid change, you stop agreeing with me, you stop providing me with what I need, you change from what you have done in the past and deviate and do something different. For then the wrath of the ego comes up, even in the special love relationships, and breaks through, because the flipside of a complement is always a rejection. Both are unreal. The self that is been complemented is a construct as well and when you can start to see that they’re just two different forms of the same thing you can withdraw from investing in that.
In the Urantia book it talks about it in several places and when the apostles describe Jesus they say he was very caring, a sense of real compassion and caring coming from him without flattery. You know in this world those are associated. With flattery ‘I love your hair’ or ‘I love those pants you’re wearing’, or those clothes or that car you drive or whatever is associated with caring. This is not true empathy. This is not true caring in the metaphysical truest sense. To accept someone regardless of their appearance, to look beyond the appearance and remember who they are is to just accept them for who they are; to not buy into the behaviors; to not buy into what they say or don’t say.
Participant: Not to buy into any of the appearances.
Speaker: Yes, because the appearances are the construct, the appearances are the veil.
Participant: So to even complement someone on appearance is to reinforce that construct for them and for me, for my mind. Because by complementing you it reinforces in my mind, that you are what you appear to be, and therefore I am what I appear to be.
Speaker: Yes, which is the body; the person in the world of guilt.
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